Work Spouses

Today, the USA Today published an article about the workplace and it addressed the issue of "Work Spouse(s)" in the work place. I gave it thought and I decided to list all of those that were, someone that I would consider, my work spouse.

I came up with ten names of co-workers and of those, five would definitely be classified as someone I would readily consider my work spouse and three others that I could not classify as readily. The three that I think of would be someone that I was very close to, but for some reason or other, they could not be classified in the traditional sense of "work spouse." They were co-workers where we enjoyed break times and specific work projects together.

I will need to work on a classification for those three, but for the last one, that one is really special. Special because she was not my work spouse, could not be grouped in with the other three, but was clearly a special case.

I have to say that in the case of the ten that I refer to, nothing of a sexual nature ever happened. We never crossed any line, as we simply had emotional relationships - very close where we shared many things with one another, and clearly with little regard to anyone else at our respective work places.

USA TODAY WORK SPOUSE

As the article states, more men have feelings for their respective work spouse than the female would for their male spouse. I did. Again, boundries were respected and it was clearly understood. No mention was ever made because we genuinely enjoyed each other's company. I do have to admit that one of the five, did make clear to me of her feelings of my real spouse.

Another one of the five was much younger and very immature (as I was then, but the difference in age was 13 years) and always gave me the vibe of wanting more. I know it to be true now, but then, nothing would come to pass due to our mature, moral understanding of the universe. That one was a relatively short one, happened over a three year period and it was a whirlwind. I look back fondly on it because, again, no barriers or boundries were ever crossed. I suppose that you, my reader, cannot possibly fathom the fact that I did not take advantage of the situation. The relationships were genuine and it was at work and only at work. The relationships were real, but there were rules.

The special one, mentioned previously, is someone that it is still in my life - was a co-worker for a relatively brief period of time. It is amusing to me that due to our very still close relationship, her real spouse is wary of me. I have not worked with him and while he may be a "co-worker," I decided to not attend their wedding due to him being uncomfortable with his perceived belief of our relationship being something more than "work spouse" to one another.

I know that having a work spouse was good for me. I only hope that I was as supporting to them, as they were to me. It is all based on unique circumstances that one is able to have a work spouse - only two of the ten worked with me in my unit. The others worked for other units, in the same building or same facility.

There was another . . . I never considered her a work spouse but many of her peers considered us to be in a real relationship. That was news to me. It was shocking because the work relationship went bad when a younger female was hired to work in my unit and clearly this was much to her displeasure. The work relationship grew toxic between the two us and then she filed sexual harassment against a female co-worker and myself. I was shocked. This was one person whom I respected for her work ethic and I was somewhat sympathic to her plight: She immigrated from her country, somehwere in the caucus region of the former Soviet Union and there, she was educated, an instructor and doing well for herself. Here, she was a clerk. I suppose that that is life, but nothing changed my sympathies and her work ethic was something to admire. I helped her apply for job applications, helped her set her affairs straight after their home was robbed - such as placing fraud alerts for her financial items and for insurance coverage. I helped her, like I help many people.

Until I was accused of something that was not true. I never considered her a work spouse, but she considered me one and boy did it almost cost me everything.