What really happens . . .

What really happens when the lights go out?

I have been wondering about this for some time now and frankly, as my days are numbered (I have fewer days ahead then days that have passed), I wonder what the darkness or silence holds.

One day, I will not awake and one day, I will no longer communicate with those in my life. I worry for them, but I expect that they will continue forward and live good lives.

I am overcome by the fear of that day, and I know that that day nears. I have had 42 years on this marble and I am satisfied with these past years, these past four decades - but I still have much to do, much to accomplish. I hurry to do it, because if I do not, I will not accomplish what I want to accomplish.

I can only wonder if I will have had made a difference in this world, left my mark and not disappear into obscurity. I want to be a part of history for all time. I want to be known as someone that did good in this world and was good at doing good!

I can only think of that moment, when the lights go out, what the nothingness will be . . .

What will happen and will it be as James Kirk, on Viridian III, when the moment arrived and his life slipped away . . . "Oh my . . ."

I am not being morbid, but simply sharing thoughts and feelings for I can not keep them simply in my thoughts. I can not.